Getting mum to come out anywhere is a mammoth task. She has always been this way ever since I can remember. I only understand more now that I’ve grown up the reasons why she dreads it so much. She was diagnosed in her twenties with Charcot Marie tooth disease, which is also know as drunk disease. I remember her telling me many times she hates the way people look at her and snigger as though she is drunk. Now with the Parkinson’s I know she hates the thought of people waiting behind her in a queue whilst she struggles with the task of paying or when she goes out to eat and throws food all over the restaurant. She has a fabulous sense of humour and on the exterior she does try to laugh these things off but only now I can see just how upsetting and frustrating it can be for her.
So this particular day me and my nanny and son were so excited about going to the coast. Mum had reluctantly agreed after trying to find every obstacle and excuse possible. I woke up, rushed to do my housework, put a load of washing on, stuck the Hoover round then changed and made the beds. I got myself ready, Ryan ready, packed his bag and loaded the car with the pushchair and then went on my way to get petrol then to collect mum. When I arrived at mums, I transferred her wheel chair from her car to my car trying to cram everything in. This was all in between making sure mum had all her things she would need for the day. Meanwhile, Ryan had numerous melt downs as we were taking too long for his liking.
After getting them both in the car and strapped in we then went off to get nanny for around 8am. Nanny then joined us and off we all went.
When we pulled up at the car park we had the task of unloading the wheel chair, pushchair, bags, mum, nanny and Ryan. It was decided nanny would try and push Ryan in the pushchair as she needed to lean on something for support instead of her usual walking frame and I would push the wheel chair. If I only had more hands I could help them all. I would also love to walk with my son, holding his hand. This isn’t an option as mums arms and hands are not strong enough to push herself and Ryan being a crazy three year old it’s impossible to ask him to hold on to the wheelchair for a whole day and if he does decide to sprint off I’m left trying to catch a little running man which will no doubt result in melt down and to try and control him and push mum at the same time.
Mum had her fair share of moans at me, pushing her too quick, pushing her too slow, oh the list is endless. I was also told off for not pushing her where she wanted to go! So many times that it got to the point where I told her if she carries on I would push her so she swam with the fishes. We have the most amazing relationship and have great banter between us. This is one of my favourite things about our relationship she knows she can tell me exactly what she wants or needs and tell me off accordingly. Which is why I’m flattered I can be her carer.
We all had a lovely time that day and shared many laughs. I am so very very lucky to have the opportunity to spend days with them all and I will cherish these memories.
After getting them all back in the car, loading the car back up and the journey home I was exhausted. We dropped nanny off first then next stop was dropping mum off. I knew this was the bit we both were dreading. As she loses the feeling in her legs it’s a real trouble getting her from car to house but we did it. She got back in her chair and gave me a smile and I knew she had a fabulous day although now I knew she would suffer from horrendous pain just from having a day out at the seaside. Dad arrived home from work and I knew she would be looked after. So, a very tired me and Ryan got back in the car and drove home. It was tea time then bath time so I cooked a meal for our family, got Ryan ready for bed. Did the washing up and made dinner for Jamie for the next day. Then zonked out on the sofa with a grin across my face knowing that I had hopefully provided all three of them, especially mum, with a great day out with her family.
[notice]To read a description of the day out from her mum; Shelley’s perspective, see here[/notice]
About the Author:
Charlotte EdwardsCharlotte is now her mums full time carer. she is 25, engaged to a fabulous man and has an amazing three year old son.